Forgive me for being absent so long and
returning with a cliché.
It is the New Year after all and the time we all think
about resolutions. Ah yes, that tired old cliché we return to January after
January. The long list of things we want to do or change in our lives. The long
list of things that we think about, write down, and focus on. The long list of
things we’ll eventually forget or ignore come February.
We are only human after all. And we get stuck in the
mud of our habits and doubts. Or we find that our ideas and ambitions were shining
beacons when we were sitting at home during vacation but then fade away in the
darkness of the daily grind we must eventually return to.
Ok, sorry for being negative. I swear one of my
resolutions every year is to be more positive!
What has really been on my mind as far as resolutions
is this:
I want to
walk in others' shoes.
Not literally of course. I mean that I want to think
about other people and how they feel and how my words or actions can affect
them. It seems simple enough. And I know I have talked to you about this
before. I dread repeating myself, but it seems this is a subject that
continually demands attention.
See, I considered myself to be a very compassionate and
empathetic person. But as it turns out, I am still very much a selfish person.
I have disregarded the thoughts and feelings of my loved ones. I have failed to
be considerate of those around me. I try, I really do. But it isn’t easy to
step out of my own shoes and try someone else’s for a change.
So, although I have preached about it (forgive me), I
still have a long way to go myself. We all do. It’s so easy to preach about. We all preach about it. It’s
easy to think about how you have been wronged or slighted. It’s easy to
complain about the people around you. It’s easy to sit and stew and allow the
hurt you feel to cloud your judgment. It’s easy to point the finger and blame
the other. It’s easy to tally up the
transgressions of others while forgetting your own.
The hard part is letting go of yourself for just a
moment and looking at the situation from the other side. How does the other
person feel? What are they thinking? What are they going through? What kind of
pain or anger are they dealing with? Is it possible that you hurt them? Is it
possible that you disregarded their feelings? Is it possible you haven't tried to understand or acknowledge them? Have you judged them harshly or unfairly?
It’s not easy at all. We are self-centered creatures by
nature. Our instincts tell us to take care of ourselves first and foremost.
Survival of the me-first, right? So, we don’t naturally think of others.
We have to stop and take a moment to think, to consider, to feel. We have to
open our minds and hearts, shed a little light on the dark monster that dwells
within. That monster that eats away at our humanity every chance it gets.
I am selfish. We are all selfish. I see it every day. Most
of the time it seems like no big deal. Someone ate more than their fair share
of the cookies. Someone used the last of the toilet paper and didn’t put a new roll
on. Someone didn’t say please or thank you or show any appreciation for that
thing you did for them. Someone showed up late or didn't show up at all. Someone is always taking and never giving.These little things then add up
to giant resentments.
And sometimes, it’s big things. The kinds of things
that break hearts and ruin friendships. Words that slice, actions that cut. The
things that could have been prevented had you just thought for one second “how
would they feel?” If you would have just asked yourself “how would I feel if
they did/said that to me?” If you would held back criticism and judgment. If you would have just slipped off your shoes and
tried theirs on for size.
Imagine what this world would be if all of us could
just be a little more compassionate, a little more forgiving, and a lot more
empathetic.
So, that’s one of my resolutions.
Another is to write
more. Hopefully you’ll have something new to read before next January.
