I know I've vented to you all before about how I want so much to write and practice interior design, but have not been able to make money doing those things, and so I have to keep a so-called regular job. You know, the kind of job where you get a steady paycheck and great benefits, but you're confined to a cubicle all day. The kind of job where you sit in front of a computer, under fluorescent lighting, entering numbers and letters until you think your fingers might fall off, or you might keel over from boredom.
Now, I know I shouldn't complain. Especially on this day which celebrates the hard work and achievements of American laborers. And I know people of earlier generations toiled for up to 12 hours a day in horrible conditions just to provide for their families. I imagine a lot of older folks think us younger generations are spoiled with our ideas of "work/life balance." I'm sure the people who worked in factories in the early 1900's would have been happy to sit in an air-conditioned office for 8 hours.
I know I have it easy. I only work 6 hours a day and the pay is decent, the benefits are good, I like the people I work with, and the company is great. But it doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't bring me joy. I simply do it for the money.
I know there are a lot of you out there who may feel the same way I do. Just think of all the "It's Friday" memes you can find on the Internet. Think of how we are all just counting the minutes, the hours, the days until Friday arrives and we are free. And then think about how many of us count the years until we can retire. It's actually kind of sad.
When we are young, we are told we can do anything, be anything. And we all dream. But we soon find things don't always go as planned. Degrees don't always guarantee a job or success. Hard work and dedication don't always get you where you want to go. And dreams don't always pay the bills. Heck, it seems like the money we work for barely pays the bills.
I know, I sound selfish and pessimistic and impractical. I assure you I know this is the real world, and not utopia. I am practical and I know I need to make sacrifices for my family. And I certainly appreciate the fact that I have a job. But as I get older, I feel the years flying by, and I worry that my dreams are slowly fading away. I worry that though I say the office jobs I get are only temporary, I'll end up stuck in a cubicle for 20 years, not one room designed, not one book published.
Maybe I'm not practical. I remember I used to complain to my mom when I was in high school that we didn't have a choice but to work at some job we hate for years. She said I did have a choice, that I could choose to be homeless. She was right, of course. We can choose to work, albeit at a job we don't necessarily enjoy, or we can choose to live off the grid, in a shack in the woods, growing crops and hunting for food. Spoiled as I am, I enjoy my modern comforts, especially indoor plumbing. Without a job, I won't have the money to pay for those modern comforts.
I have no illusions about life being perfect if and when I become a published writer or an accomplished designer. Every job has its ups and downs. Every job is work. And it won't always be fun. That's why it's called work and not play. But when you're doing something you love, it is kind of like playing. Adult playing.
I guess that I will have to continue to work at my writing. I will have to put more energy into growing my interior design business. I have to keep working and trying. I can't give up. Because I believe it's important to love what you do. Or at least to like it. I believe there is more to living than working and paying bills. I believe we should all have work/life balance. Maybe that makes me a daydreaming idealist and impractical. Maybe I need to wake up and smell the coffee and put my nose to the grindstone and quit bellyaching about my bohemian need for fulfillment. Maybe all I can and should do is just make the most of my situation. Because that's really what we are all doing in this world. Just trying to make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in.
What about you? Are you happy with your job? Do you find joy and fulfillment in your work? Is that important to you?
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