Today is International Women’s Day and I would like to say that I am proud to be a woman and proud to honor all the beautiful women I know and love. I am not a feminist, though I may sometimes act/think/speak as though I am. In fact, I have to admit that I have often struggled with my feminine side. For a long time I thought I had either been a male in my past life or that I should have been born a boy. As a young girl, I was very much a tomboy. I wore boy’s clothes, owned a skateboard, and climbed trees. I enjoyed playing outside and riding my bike. I tore the straps off my shiny dress shoes. I wanted to be the son my daddy didn’t have.
Eventually, I entered a more girly phase. I even became a cheerleader. I also became interested in boys as something more than buddies. I yo-yoed back to being more of a tomboy when I got into my rocker stage. I wore my Doc Martins to a school dance. Good thing my date didn’t mind (he had long hair).
I think I finally started plucking my eyebrows and wearing makeup regularly in my sophomore year of high school. I did wear skirts but often times with knee high stockings and my Docs. Everyone seems to remember the black and white striped stockings for some reason. I guess they were kind of funny. Perfect with my blue hair.
I did have boyfriends but I also had boy friends, buddies. I always enjoyed hanging out with guys. They were funny and crazy and did cool things. It’s difficult to have male best friends, though. Everyone swears there is something going on, and sometimes my buddies wanted something to go on, even though I didn’t. And other girls sometimes judge you for hanging out with boys. I was called every name in the book and it broke my heart.
I’m still somewhat of a tomboy now. I like driving trucks, watching sports and drinking beer. I don’t wear makeup regularly, run around in jeans and flats, and don’t have manicured nails. I still like hanging out with guys, with my husband present of course (he’s my best buddy now). I don’t like chick flicks. And I can appreciate looking at a beautiful woman as much as any guy. In fact, women are just better looking, and soft, and not hairy, and they smell wonderful.
But I do like to dress up and wear makeup and curl my hair every now and then. And I love feminine clothes, especially those with a vintage flair. I like silk and lace. I like heels. I like butterflies and flowers. And I do like to read some chick lit (I’m a hopeless romantic). I can discuss makeup and clothes and shoes, just not for too long. I prefer to talk about sports, movies, music, books, and life.
Someone once called me an enigma. They said they couldn’t figure me out. I couldn’t always figure me out either. I was also called a walking contradiction. I guess I was that, too. I always had one foot in a boot and one foot in a heel. And I always felt like I had to defend this. But why? Why can’t I embrace both my masculine and feminine sides? Why can’t we all happily and comfortably embrace both and accept those who do? Why does anyone, be it man or woman, have to fit into a category, be a certain way, live a certain life? Why does society have to feminize or masculinize everything? And I shouldn’t be hypocritical. I did say chick flicks and chick lit. I described my behavior as feminine or masculine.Why do I even need to categorize?
There are conflicting views on society’s role in gender expectations. Some say it’s natural for girls to want to play with dolls and boys to play with trucks or guns. Others say it’s all due to society’s pressure to behave a certain way. I am not a scientist and that is a subject which I cannot delve into here.
What I want to say here is that I believe a woman can be whatever she wants, whether a girly girl or a tomboy or both or neither. And as women, we should love, help, inspire, and reach out to each other. We shouldn’t envy or gossip or be hypocritical.
Feminine beauty is about more than hair and makeup and clothes. It is the power, the light that comes from within. A woman’s curves fill out jeans and a tee just as well as a dress. A woman’s eyes can hypnotize whether she has eye shadow and mascara on or not. A woman’s lips can kiss away worry and fear and pain with or without lipstick. A stay at home mother is no less intelligent or classy than a career woman. Nor is a career woman any less of a wife and mother. And neither should have to defend her choice. Nor should the woman who decides not to marry or have children.
I hope that someday every woman in this world will be free to be herself and to be loved for who she is, without having to fit into some category or follow the path society deems she must take.
Happy International Women’s Day! I hope you all know how beautiful you really are.
