I sometimes feel conflicted about watching football. It's fun to watch for sure. But I can't help but think football players are modern day gladiators. And now, with all the talk of CTE and the mental and emotional problems some of these players deal with later in life, I can't help but feel guilty. And I think about how some football fans behave. About the insults and smack talking. About the fights in the parking lots and bleachers. It gets really bad sometimes. People have even been stabbed and shot.
Taking a side road here, stay with me.
My son plays basketball on a competitive team. I love watching him play. But I am surprised by what I see and hear on the court and in the stands. A couple games back, we were sitting near a man whose son played for the other team. At one point, he shouted "Next time, put a shoulder into his ass!"
Now, I know everyone swears. I swear. But it bothers me when people yell and swear around young children. So, I turned around and told him there really was no need for that. He went on to tell me he didn't say anything and that I should clean my ears. I apologized, said I misheard him, and left it at that. I did hear from other parents who were nearby that confirmed what he said. He also criticized our players for their aggressive play. Now, this man's son was a bully on the court. He elbowed one of our players, a girl in fact, in the face. And he said and did some things to my son. So, I guess it was no surprise the father spoke the way he did. Children emulate their parents. The sad thing was that when the other team lost, this kid was in tears. And I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Maybe he was a bully because he was under too much pressure to perform.
My husband told me it really wasn't a big deal about the guy cussing, and that I should just get used to it, because it's only going to get worse as our son gets older. I guess he was right. Cuss words are just that, words. And it isn't that I'm being snobby about it. I just want children to maintain their innocence for as long as possible, something that seems to be getting more and more difficult.
At another game, a couple for the other team were very unhappy about the calls being made and they made it known. They berated the referees the entire game. THE ENTIRE GAME! It got to the point where I just wanted to turn to them and say "Hey, these are kids, this isn't the NBA Championship, can you just let them play and let the rest of us enjoy the game instead of listening to you yell the whole time?!!?" But of course, I didn't. My husband said I shouldn't let people get to me. And I shouldn't. I know. I should have just ignored them. But I couldn't.
I will admit that I get a little excited at my son's games sometimes. I have voiced some displeasure at a call or two. But I have never yelled at the refs. I know they have a tough gig. They have to watch a lot of different people at the same time. And the game moves fast and they don't catch everything. No one is perfect. They are only human, and they are volunteers.
I do cheer for my son's team. But I try not to cheer if they are up by a lot or if a player for the other team misses a free throw. These are kids after all. They should just be having fun and we should just be watching and supporting. That is why I'm taken aback by the some of the bad displays of behavior, from the kids and parents.
So, I wonder why it is that sports can turn us into monsters. Why do we push our kids that hard? Why do we insult the opposite team and their fans? Why do we act as though every game is life or death? Because, really, it isn't. It's just entertainment. It's just fun. Or at least it's supposed to be.
Sports are very much tribal. And that brings out the primal in us. We are animals after all. And animals want to propagate their own species. They want to create the best offspring. They want to take the best territory and resources. Basically, they want to win. It seems watching and playing sports bring out the inner animals in us that have lain dormant because we don't have to fight for a mate or food or a home.
It makes sense. But I wish that kids could just play and parents could just watch. I wish people could attend a game without worrying about their children being subjected to profanity-laced tirades. I wish people could support a team without being insulted or targeted by knife-wielding or gun-toting sociopaths.
I don't want to be too negative. Sports can also bring out good things in us. It can bring people together, create a sense of camaraderie. It teaches kids leadership and cooperation. It instills a sense of pride and ownership. I just would like to see more of that, and less of the hating and berating. Is that too much to ask?
