Feeling the "F" word

Music is powerful. It moves you, makes you feel. It can fly you to the height of joy or drop you into the depths of sorrow. Sometimes, it is the music alone that holds the power. Other times, it is the lyrics. A musician's or poets words can reach into the dark corners of your heart and wrench out feelings you didn't even know were hiding in there. When I hear a song that speaks to me, I break out in goosebumps and my heart skips a beat. Most of the time, I prefer lyrics with depth, symbolism, and meaning. Other times, I want to hear something that will make me laugh. And then, there are times when I want words that are burning with anger, pain, or passion. Those emotions I like raw. Stay with me here, my brain is making a stop on this street.

I often hear a song on my favorite radio stations that has become embedded in my brain. Not because it's 'catchy' like the song my son keeps singing and is played every 5 minutes on the pop station (no offense to pop music). It's there because I feel it, because I have become connected to it. The song, titled "Little Lion Man", is by a band named Mumford and Sons. Let me give you the lyrics of the chorus:

    "But it was not your fault but mine,
    And it was your heart on the line,
    I really f@#*ed it up this time,
    Didn't I my dear?"

Yes, that is the f word in there. Relax, take a deep breath. Now you may think, "well, there is nothing deep about that." And perhaps, to those who pretentiousness disallows any travel outside their little box, those lyrics may seem quite simple. And to throw the f word in there! Oh my! But that is what I like about this song. It is real. True anger, pain, or passion is stripped down and stands naked before the eyes of your soul. Sometimes, all the poetic words in the world can't describe exactly how you feel inside. And sometimes, the only thing that works, the only thing that you can let out is the f word. It can be pure, unadulterated emotion escaping from your mouth. Is it the act that is associated with the word? An act of uncensored desire? Or is it just the 'f'' sound (think fall, forgive, freedom, forever, fatal)? Whatever it is, it works. Now, I'm not a proponent of the use of vulgarities. I abhor the use of the 'b' word and the 's' word is unnecessary. And I'm not saying we should all go around yelling and screaming obscenities at each other to express how we feel. We're all adults here. What I'm saying is that maybe we should not hold back, suppress our emotions so much .Maybe using the f word isn't so bad if it allows you to release that which you hold inside. You should not turn away from what you feel. It is better to deal with it than to run from it. Otherwise, you will always be running, until one day, you 'll be too tired and you'll either lie down and die or you'll turn around and your feelings will run right over you. I myself have a difficult time dealing with my emotions. I'm so sensitive and afraid of confrontation. But sometimes, I become so full or love or pain or anger, that I feel like I'll explode if I don't let go. So I write or run or cry. And then sometimes, I just turn up a song like "Little Lion Man" and sing as loud as I can, putting extra emphasis on that 'f'word.

By the way, if you listen to all the lyrics, you'll hear that there is a lot more to this song, and with the music, it is quite stirring.