I have always had somewhat of a fascination with all things dark and morbid. I devour books about vampires and witches. I believe in ghosts and have been glued to the television watching multiple episodes of A Haunting. I’m also a big fan of horror films and shows.  And I know I’m not the only one judging by the popularity of shows such as The Walking Dead. (Yes, I’m hooked too) So, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch the first episode of the new season of American Horror Story. I was especially excited about seeing witches in action. However, I had to change the channel before the show was over.

Yes, I like dark. But I like dark and mysterious. I am curious about that which cannot be explained or understood. I want to know the secrets of magic and paranormal activity.

And although the show had witches and mysterious events, it had other things that I just couldn't watch. Namely, torture and rape. Now, I know you are probably thinking “but a lot of horror movies have torture.” And you would be right. But I've never been a fan of gratuitous torture. I can’t sit there while someone is being subjected to all kinds of cruel, unspeakable acts (i.e. Hostel). And in this show, it was torture of slaves. As if slavery wasn't torture in itself. As for rape, well, I can’t sit there and watch that either. I know, it’s just television and it was all acting. But I just couldn't deal with it.

So maybe I need to qualify my fascination. I like dark and mysterious. I like when the artist, be it an author or director, leaves “something to the imagination” so to speak. It’s what I can’t see, what I can’t explain, what I don’t know that fascinates me. It’s not knowing what lurks in the darkness just beyond or what could happen when I venture out that gets my blood pumping.  I like that adrenaline rush.

I’m not scared of ghosts or vampires or witches. I guess you could say that I have a fascination with the romantic side of darkness. It’s the mystery and exoticism that I am attracted to. It’s the idea of another realm or dimension where reality has been turned upside down and inside out and the impossible is possible.

What I am not fascinated with is true evil. I am frightened of true evil. And the scariest part-it’s not just mystery, but is real and exists. Torture and rape, that’s evil. And they are a reality of this world. They happen in broad daylight, all too often. And there are no vampires or witches or demons to blame. No, the blame falls to humans. And that is the most frightening. The knowledge that anyone of us can commit such cruel, heinous acts upon another. I guess that is why I couldn't continue watching the show. It was dark, but it wasn't just about the mysterious. It compounded the fear factor by focusing on the darkness that exists within humans. It showed the evil that humans are capable of. And that’s real. There is no turning off the television and forgetting. The reality is slaves were tortured.  People are tortured and people are raped. People are murdered. And often, it is the most vulnerable and innocent people.

They say that we should face our fears to overcome them. So, perhaps we should face our darkness to overcome it. Perhaps being exposed to the things that can and do happen in this world will wake us up and force us to make better, do better.  Maybe shows such as American Horror Story can serve this purpose. But I can’t help but wonder if these shows exist because many are fascinated with the morbid in a more dangerous way. What if some enjoy watching torture and rape? I shudder to think it.

Then again, maybe it’s a way for people to release the darkness within them. Maybe watching such shows is a way for people to exorcise the demon within. I understand that we may not be as civilized as we think. That underneath our refined facade we are all animals with untamed thoughts, lusts, and hungers. Maybe humans need to deal with this without consequences.  We can’t deny our own evil, our own darkness. After all, humans are writing and acting in these shows. It comes from somewhere.

I don’t mean to be so dramatic about a mere television show. This is just how my brain works. What do you think? What is truly frightening to you?