Helping Hand

"Doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves"

                             -Horace Mann

Just a few weeks ago, I saw a picture of a little boy lying face down on a beach. He was dead, having drowned when the boat he and his family were on capsized. They had been trying to escape the war in Syria. My heart broke when I saw the photo. I had to fight back tears. I could not imagine the desperation the family must have felt crossing that sea in a crowded boat, not knowing if they would reach land or if they would be welcomed once they did. And I could not imagine the pain the boy's father felt when he learned he had lost his whole family.

Since then, I have been following the news of the countless refugees braving the Mediterranean and Aegean Seas, and trekking through eastern Europe, looking for a place to begin new lives. All this to escape their own war-torn countries.

I know that most people are sympathetic to the refugees' plight. People, countries want to help. At the same time, some countries closed their borders and many have expressed concern with the strain on their own resources. It's understandable there is some concern. We are talking millions of displaced people.

This got me thinking about what it means to help others in need.

I'm the type of person that finds it difficult to say no when others ask for help. I don't know if it has to do with my Catholic upbringing or if it's just my personality, but it pains me to say no to helping others. I always believed that you should help others, regardless of who they are or why they need help or if they deserve it. I always believed you do things for others just for the sake of doing it, not to expect anything in return.

"No one has ever become poor from giving."

                                              -Anne Frank

I would tend to agree with Anne Frank. However, practicality, common sense, and societal norms say that we can and should only give so much. People say you can't give so much that it becomes a detriment to yourself or your own. People say that others will take advantage of you if you give too much. Think about your own lives. Do you have friends or family members that are constantly asking for help? Whether it's money or favors? And do they return in kind? Are they there for you when you need help? Do they give equally? Or is it a one-way street? Do you find you are constantly giving and they are constantly taking? Have you given money when you were struggling financially? Have you given time and energy when you barely had any? Where do you draw the line? It's a difficult question I know.

So, I understand when countries struggle with how to help refugees. Especially when it puts an economic and logistical strain on their resources and affects their own citizens.

Yet, how do we turn away from our brothers and sisters of the human race? How do we see them as merely financial burdens or temporary problems? They are people after all. And they are suffering.

So, do we rise above our animal selves? Do we give and help others as much as we can no matter what we get in return? Do we love and forgive unconditionally? Do we give until it hurts, no matter what the consequences may be? Or do we follow our basic instincts, which tells us to protect ourselves and our own? Do we give to and love only those who return the favor? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between those two extremes?

I really don't know what the best answer is and I wish we didn't even have to ask the question. I would give until it hurt. But maybe that's one of my downfalls. Maybe that only causes me trouble and pain. Maybe that hurts my loved ones as well. Maybe I need to give them more and others less. And although I like to give as much as possible, I can't deny that I've also done my share of taking. And I'm sure I failed to help or give when I should have.

I wish that we could all give and love and be given to and loved in return. I wish that no one ever took advantage of others. I wish there were abundant resources available to help all those in need. I wish we were more than just selfish animals searching for the easiest path to our own wants and needs.

Maybe we are. Maybe we can be. Maybe we'll find that balance between giving and taking. On an individual level as well as on a larger scale.

For now, I hope and pray the refugees are shown compassion and given shelter. I hope and pray that somehow, someway, their own countries can find a path to peace and prosperity. And I hope that one day every child of this Earth will have a home that is warm and safe and filled with love, a home they will not have to run away from.