Apocalypse Not

Well, May 21, 2011 came and went without much fanfare. No devastating worldwide earthquake. No zombies running wild through the streets. Half the human population didn’t suddenly disappear. No apocalypse, no Armageddon. 

At first, I found it rather amazing how much attention this prophesy garnered. Practically everyone I know was talking about it. I know I was discussing it. But I’m a somewhat peculiar person, fascinated by all things strange, morbid, and fantastical. Then I really got to thinking about all the chatter surrounding the prediction. While it is true that many were laughing at Mr. Camping, I think that most people are fascinated by and perhaps, fearful of, the end of the world. Think about how many films have been made about possible ‘end of the world’ or post apocalyptic scenarios, from devastating natural disasters (The Day After Tomorrow) to zombie creating viruses (I am Legend) to alien invasions (War of the Worlds). And really, don’t we all understand that the ‘end of the world’ most likely means, ‘the end of people’, or the end of humanity as we know it. The human race has been obsessed with trying to forecast the ‘end’ since the beginning. Look at the basis of the 2012 prophesy. People believe the Mayan calendar has the world ending in 2012. This is an ancient civilization we are talking about here!

So, what is it about us humans that we are so enthralled with ‘end of the world’ predictions? Is it that we are all, in some way, fascinated with the dark and morbid? That would explain the success of all those zombie and alien movies. Or is it that we want to know, to understand death and what comes after? Is it that we want to be reassured that there is more, and that more will be something better, that we will find ourselves in Heaven (whatever you may think it to be) and live on? Perhaps we are afraid of what we don’t know or understand and we have this uncontrollable urge to control everything. Is it that we want our lives, our world, to end when we’re damn well ready for it to end? Or maybe it’s that we don’t ever want any of it to end and we’ll do whatever we can to fight the inevitable.

In the end (pun intended), there isn’t much we can control or foresee. The ‘end’ can come at any moment, be it the end of an individual life or the end of all. And we don’t really know what happens after death or what will happen after Armageddon. So, why be obsessed with trying to figure it out? Why worry about where you’ll be or what you’ll do? It is better to live and love to the fullest, to relish every moment, every breath. You can’t be so afraid of dying, of the end, that you forget to live. So, get out there and live and love as if it were your last day, because it could be. Discover the world, make new friends, learn new things, play, laugh, jump out of a plane (with a parachute of course), whatever, just be present.

But keep a stockpile of water and canned goods just in case. 

Just for fun, and maybe a few tips, here are some of my favorite apocalyptic/post apocalyptic films:

1.       The Road

2.       Zombieland

3.       28 Days Later

4.       Dawn of the Dead

5.       Shaun of the Dead

6.       Mad Max and Road Warrior

7.       Matrix series

8.       Children of Men

9.       9

An Uprising after a Stopover in a Quiet Town in the Matrix

Ok, sometimes my mind wanders pretty far out there. I remember someone once calling me a space cadet. I was offended at the time, but now I realize that in a way, she was right. On that note, I was thinking the other day that maybe we don’t realize that we are animals in some cosmic cage, a secret lab run by higher beings, or aliens, or the government. Maybe we are just like the proverbial 'hamster on the wheel', spinning and spinning.

I was reminded of an episode of Twilight Zone, called “Stopover in a Quiet Town.”  A married couple from New York is attending a party outside the city. They have a little too much to drink and wake up in a strange house. Now, that doesn't seem unusual, it happens. (Don't worry, I'm not judging, but don't drink and drive like this guy did). Back to the strange house. It's in a strange town and everything is eerily quiet and eerily void of human activity.  Spoiler Alert!! Here is a clip of the ending.

So, what if like this couple, we are just living dolls, walking around in a world full of props? For those of you who want me to speak in “modern” terms, think of the movie The Matrix.  Reality was not reality at all, but a computer simulation created by machines to keep humans too preoccupied, too comfortable to seek the truth, and to rebel. That reminds me a of a Muse song...

"Green belts wrapped around our minds and endless red tape to keep the truth confined.." Makes you think, doesn't it?

Now, these thoughts are extreme, I know. We may not be living in an illusion, or a dollhouse, or a computer simulation. The government or people in power may not be trying to control us (they certainly aren't doing a very good job right now anyway, we're on to their games). The point is to remember to keep your eyes and mind open. Be who you are, live the life you want to. Don’t be too preoccupied to seek the truth, to discover who you are and explore the world around you.  Don’t let the ‘fat cats’ sell you their lies and take your money while you break your back keeping up with the Joneses. There is so much to learn, so much to know, so much to find, so much to experience, don't get stuck in a quiet town in the Matrix. Or just tell me to take my paranoid delusions and wandering brain elsewhere.

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

Feeling the "F" word

Music is powerful. It moves you, makes you feel. It can fly you to the height of joy or drop you into the depths of sorrow. Sometimes, it is the music alone that holds the power. Other times, it is the lyrics. A musician's or poets words can reach into the dark corners of your heart and wrench out feelings you didn't even know were hiding in there. When I hear a song that speaks to me, I break out in goosebumps and my heart skips a beat. Most of the time, I prefer lyrics with depth, symbolism, and meaning. Other times, I want to hear something that will make me laugh. And then, there are times when I want words that are burning with anger, pain, or passion. Those emotions I like raw. Stay with me here, my brain is making a stop on this street.

I often hear a song on my favorite radio stations that has become embedded in my brain. Not because it's 'catchy' like the song my son keeps singing and is played every 5 minutes on the pop station (no offense to pop music). It's there because I feel it, because I have become connected to it. The song, titled "Little Lion Man", is by a band named Mumford and Sons. Let me give you the lyrics of the chorus:

    "But it was not your fault but mine,
    And it was your heart on the line,
    I really f@#*ed it up this time,
    Didn't I my dear?"

Yes, that is the f word in there. Relax, take a deep breath. Now you may think, "well, there is nothing deep about that." And perhaps, to those who pretentiousness disallows any travel outside their little box, those lyrics may seem quite simple. And to throw the f word in there! Oh my! But that is what I like about this song. It is real. True anger, pain, or passion is stripped down and stands naked before the eyes of your soul. Sometimes, all the poetic words in the world can't describe exactly how you feel inside. And sometimes, the only thing that works, the only thing that you can let out is the f word. It can be pure, unadulterated emotion escaping from your mouth. Is it the act that is associated with the word? An act of uncensored desire? Or is it just the 'f'' sound (think fall, forgive, freedom, forever, fatal)? Whatever it is, it works. Now, I'm not a proponent of the use of vulgarities. I abhor the use of the 'b' word and the 's' word is unnecessary. And I'm not saying we should all go around yelling and screaming obscenities at each other to express how we feel. We're all adults here. What I'm saying is that maybe we should not hold back, suppress our emotions so much .Maybe using the f word isn't so bad if it allows you to release that which you hold inside. You should not turn away from what you feel. It is better to deal with it than to run from it. Otherwise, you will always be running, until one day, you 'll be too tired and you'll either lie down and die or you'll turn around and your feelings will run right over you. I myself have a difficult time dealing with my emotions. I'm so sensitive and afraid of confrontation. But sometimes, I become so full or love or pain or anger, that I feel like I'll explode if I don't let go. So I write or run or cry. And then sometimes, I just turn up a song like "Little Lion Man" and sing as loud as I can, putting extra emphasis on that 'f'word.

By the way, if you listen to all the lyrics, you'll hear that there is a lot more to this song, and with the music, it is quite stirring.