Death.
Does that make you want to quit reading now? The word is so
heavy, I can almost feel the weight upon my back. Perhaps that is why my back
aches so much right now. In fact, I’m hunched over as I am typing this.
Death is always there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to
catch us unawares. Well, sometimes death calls to say it will be arriving in
few months or days. Either way, we don’t usually put out the welcome mat and
bake some cookies.
I will turn to my current lyrical favorites, Mumford and
Sons:
“Death is at your doorstep and it will steal your innocence,
but it will not steal your substance…”
We try to avoid it at all costs. We don’t even like to discuss it. So, I understand if you decide to skip this blog. But my purpose is not to cloud your sunny skies. I’m not trying to depress you. No, I’ve just been thinking about death because it seems to surround me. In the last ten years or so, I have lost family, friends, acquaintances, a neighbor, even a dog. Each death saddened me, hurt me, and took a little bit of my innocence. With each funeral, I felt I aged.
But some of those who passed knew death was coming for them,
and they accepted it with grace and understanding. And they did not allow death
or the fear of death to steal their substance, to cast a shadow upon their
hearts.
“Night has
always pushed up day
You must
know life to see decay
But I won’t
rot, I won’t rotNot his mind and not this heart…”
“Death is just so full, and man so small
I’m scared of what’s behind, and what’s before…”
Yes, death is full. It is full and final and it fills us with fear. We don’t know what waits for us upon death, if anything at all. We worry that our lives, what we leave behind is all that we will ever have. Will we die with regret? Will we look back and wish we had done it differently? Wish we had done more.Wish we had done better.
“In these
bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you
invest your love, you invest your life.”
Perhaps I am naive to think it, but I believe that
our purpose in life is to love and be loved. I know, I told you all that before. But think about
those who have faced death. Think about people who have been to the edge and
back. Think about people who have been given months to live. What do many of
them do? They live each day as though it were their last. And they love,
completely, with abandon. Not just love their partners, but their children,
their friends, themselves. They love life. They do things they love. They go
places they love. And this love allows them to see the light through the
darkness.
“But there
will come a time you’ll l see
With no more
tears
And love
will not break your heart
But dismiss your
fears
Get over
your hill and see, what you
Find there
With grace
in your heart and flowers in your hair.”
I grew up Catholic, but I became disenchanted with organized religion. But I have always believed that there is a higher power, whether it be male or female or neither. Whether it be one or many. I don’t mean to be controversial and I don’t want to tell you what to believe, but I think it is arrogant of us to think we know what the higher power is and that it is anything like us and that only some people are allowed to be close to it. Church shouldn’t just be four walls on one day. It should be the sky and the earth and all the living creatures. All of it, every day. And I would like to think that when we die, we will “get over our hills” and love “will dismiss our fears.” But the grace in our hearts will come from the love that we feel, that we give here and now.
“Love will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.”
We may never be free of death. But we can be free of
the fear of death. We can look death in the eye, walk towards it with heads
held high. We can face death with courage and grace. But only if love fills our
hearts. Love of each other, love of this world, love of life.
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