"Well, that's really tragic that you hear these comments, which are full of hatred, full of this ideology of being discriminative towards others...If we want to end terrorism we need to bring quality education so we defeat the mindset of terrorism mentality and of hatred."
                                  -Malala Yousafzai



I recently watched the Republican debate. Ok, admittedly, I didn't watch the whole thing. I can only take so much of politics and posturing and mudslinging and finger pointing, yadda yadda, etc. etc. Anyhow, one of the hot topics was Islamic extremism. Of course, this subject is on the minds of many, especially after the recent tragedies in Paris and San Bernardino.

Often, the immediate reaction to such events is one of anger. People clamor for justice. However, an angry person's idea of justice is often just revenge. And perhaps, when you break justice down to its simplest form, it is revenge. Revenge in the form of punishment, sometimes cruel, sometimes deadly. 

Now, what the terrorists did in Paris and San Bernardino warrants anger. They murdered innocent people. So, I understand the desire to respond in kind. However, I believe that we cannot let our anger and our blind desire for revenge 'trump' our humanity.

Yes, I said 'trump'.  And now, I'm going to get into politics. It's always a risky proposition to discuss politics, especially online where anonymous people feel free to attack you as a person and threaten your life if they don't agree with your ideas. But I'm going to do it anyway. 

 As I said, I watched some of the Republican debate and there were questions about the things Donald Trump has proposed in regards to the problem of Islamic extremism. And some of the things he has proposed are, well, extreme. He called for mandatory registry of Muslims living in the United States. How is that any different than the Nazis forcing Jews in Europe to wear the Star of David as a sort of scarlet letter or badge of shame? Or the American government forcing Japanese into internment camps? Or the hunting and harassing of anyone believed to be communist during the McCarthy era? And he proposes banning all Muslims from entering the United States. This is contrary to what America stands for. Not that I'm surprised. Remember when he called Mexican immigrants criminals and rapists and killers? And that Mexico should pay to have a wall built between our two countries?

When terrorists attack, the heinous acts they carry out leave everyone with psychological scars. People become angry, yes. But they also become fearful. And often, the combination causes people to lose their humanity. It causes people to hunt out scapegoats. Like wounded animals who have been cornered, they lash out at anyone they see as a threat. Just as after 9-11, hate crimes against Muslims have increased. Muslim Americans are being verbally harassed and threatened in the streets. Mosques are being vandalized.  
American Muslim organizations have publicly denounced the acts of extremists. I understand why they feel they must do this, and why non-Muslims demand it, but it seems unfair. We shouldn't  blame an entire group of people or a religion for the acts of a horribly misguided few who are acting out of anger and fear themselves. Did we expect or demand that Conservatives and Christians hold press conferences to publicly denounce the attack on the Planned Parenthood in Colorado that left three people dead? No, we understand that violence is not the "Christian" way. Not that violence hasn't been perpetrated  against innocents in the name of religions other than Islam. Just think about the Spanish Inquisition or the Salem witch trials. But we understand that Christianity and Catholicism for the most part, promote peace. And maybe that is part of the problem. We don't completely understand Islam. And we often fear or dislike what we don't understand. That seems to a be a human behavior we have dealt with since the beginning of time.

But that is not what we need in a leader. We do not need someone who feeds our anger and fear and paranoia. We do not need someone who is overtly racist or prejudice or sexist. We do not need someone who will insult, berate, or bully anyone who doesn't agree with him or his ideas.  

Now I know why Trump has so much support. People in this country are angry and tired of the same old politicians who talk more than do. They are sick of the establishment. They believe Trump is a straight shooter who will make drastic changes in the state of our government. They are "passionate" about making this country better. (That is what he said after two men beat another man they believed to be an immigrant, invoking Trump's anti-immigrant words) I know, but I don't understand why so many would support a person who spews such racist rhetoric. 

Maybe I'm naive or too much of an idealist or "wussified" as some of our own citizens call our nation. And maybe if I lost a loved one in the attacks, I would be calling for revenge and the killing of the perpetrators' families. Maybe I would be filled with an angry hatred of all Muslims. Maybe I would seek to beat up anyone who looked Muslim. 

But I'd like to think that I could rise above the hate. I'd like to think that we could all rise above. I'd like to think that love, forgiveness, and empathy still have a place in this world. I'd like to think this country is one of freedom and acceptance and that we can lead the world in finding a path to peace. I'd like to think we've come a long way since the Civil Rights movement. I'd like to think we can elect someone who will lead with courage and compassion. Someone who will protect our country from terrorists, while preserving the rights of all Americans, regardless of race, religion, or gender. I'd like to think that knowledge and understanding will trump hatred.

I'd like to think, but maybe I'm dreaming.




My thoughts go out to all those affected by terrorism, in America and around the globe. 

Helping Hand

"Doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves"

                             -Horace Mann

Just a few weeks ago, I saw a picture of a little boy lying face down on a beach. He was dead, having drowned when the boat he and his family were on capsized. They had been trying to escape the war in Syria. My heart broke when I saw the photo. I had to fight back tears. I could not imagine the desperation the family must have felt crossing that sea in a crowded boat, not knowing if they would reach land or if they would be welcomed once they did. And I could not imagine the pain the boy's father felt when he learned he had lost his whole family.

Since then, I have been following the news of the countless refugees braving the Mediterranean and Aegean Seas, and trekking through eastern Europe, looking for a place to begin new lives. All this to escape their own war-torn countries.

I know that most people are sympathetic to the refugees' plight. People, countries want to help. At the same time, some countries closed their borders and many have expressed concern with the strain on their own resources. It's understandable there is some concern. We are talking millions of displaced people.

This got me thinking about what it means to help others in need.

I'm the type of person that finds it difficult to say no when others ask for help. I don't know if it has to do with my Catholic upbringing or if it's just my personality, but it pains me to say no to helping others. I always believed that you should help others, regardless of who they are or why they need help or if they deserve it. I always believed you do things for others just for the sake of doing it, not to expect anything in return.

"No one has ever become poor from giving."

                                              -Anne Frank

I would tend to agree with Anne Frank. However, practicality, common sense, and societal norms say that we can and should only give so much. People say you can't give so much that it becomes a detriment to yourself or your own. People say that others will take advantage of you if you give too much. Think about your own lives. Do you have friends or family members that are constantly asking for help? Whether it's money or favors? And do they return in kind? Are they there for you when you need help? Do they give equally? Or is it a one-way street? Do you find you are constantly giving and they are constantly taking? Have you given money when you were struggling financially? Have you given time and energy when you barely had any? Where do you draw the line? It's a difficult question I know.

So, I understand when countries struggle with how to help refugees. Especially when it puts an economic and logistical strain on their resources and affects their own citizens.

Yet, how do we turn away from our brothers and sisters of the human race? How do we see them as merely financial burdens or temporary problems? They are people after all. And they are suffering.

So, do we rise above our animal selves? Do we give and help others as much as we can no matter what we get in return? Do we love and forgive unconditionally? Do we give until it hurts, no matter what the consequences may be? Or do we follow our basic instincts, which tells us to protect ourselves and our own? Do we give to and love only those who return the favor? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between those two extremes?

I really don't know what the best answer is and I wish we didn't even have to ask the question. I would give until it hurt. But maybe that's one of my downfalls. Maybe that only causes me trouble and pain. Maybe that hurts my loved ones as well. Maybe I need to give them more and others less. And although I like to give as much as possible, I can't deny that I've also done my share of taking. And I'm sure I failed to help or give when I should have.

I wish that we could all give and love and be given to and loved in return. I wish that no one ever took advantage of others. I wish there were abundant resources available to help all those in need. I wish we were more than just selfish animals searching for the easiest path to our own wants and needs.

Maybe we are. Maybe we can be. Maybe we'll find that balance between giving and taking. On an individual level as well as on a larger scale.

For now, I hope and pray the refugees are shown compassion and given shelter. I hope and pray that somehow, someway, their own countries can find a path to peace and prosperity. And I hope that one day every child of this Earth will have a home that is warm and safe and filled with love, a home they will not have to run away from. 

Working 9 to 5

I have just enjoyed a five day staycation. And now, as this warm Labor Day winds down, I begin to feel that black cloud that usually hovers over me every Sunday evening. Monday, or in this case, Tuesday, is looming. It will be back to work for me.

I know I've vented to you all before about how I want so much to write and practice interior design, but have not been able to make money doing those things, and so I have to keep a so-called regular job. You know, the kind of job where you get a steady paycheck and great benefits, but you're confined to a cubicle all day. The kind of job where you sit in front of a computer, under fluorescent lighting, entering numbers and letters until you think your fingers might fall off, or you might keel over from boredom. 

Now, I know I shouldn't complain. Especially on this day which celebrates the hard work and achievements of American laborers. And I know people of earlier generations toiled for up to 12 hours a day in horrible conditions just to provide for their families. I imagine a lot of older folks think us younger generations are spoiled with our ideas of "work/life balance." I'm sure the people who worked in factories in the early 1900's would have been happy to sit in an air-conditioned office for 8 hours.

I know I have it easy. I only work 6 hours a day and the pay is decent, the benefits are good, I like the people I work with, and the company is great. But it doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't bring me joy. I simply do it for the money.

I know there are a lot of you out  there who may feel the same way I do. Just think of all the "It's Friday" memes you can find on the Internet. Think of how we are all just counting the minutes, the hours, the days until Friday arrives and we are free. And then think about how many of us count the years until we can retire. It's actually kind of sad. 

When we are young, we are told we can do anything, be anything. And we all dream. But we soon find things don't always go as planned. Degrees don't always guarantee a job or success. Hard work and dedication don't always get you where you want to go. And dreams don't always pay the bills. Heck, it seems like the money we work for barely pays the bills.

I know, I sound selfish and pessimistic and impractical. I assure you I know this is the real world, and not utopia. I am practical and I know I need to make sacrifices for my family. And I certainly appreciate the fact that I have a job. But as I get older, I feel the years flying by, and I worry that my dreams are slowly fading away. I worry that though I say the office jobs I get are only temporary, I'll end up stuck in a cubicle for 20 years, not one room designed, not one book published.

Maybe I'm not practical. I remember I used to complain to my mom when I was in high school that we didn't have a choice but to work at some job we hate for years. She said I did have a choice, that I could choose to be homeless. She was right, of course. We can choose to work, albeit at a job we don't necessarily enjoy, or we can choose to live off the grid, in a shack in the woods, growing crops and hunting for food. Spoiled as I am, I enjoy my modern comforts, especially indoor plumbing. Without a job, I won't have the money to pay for those modern comforts. 

I have no illusions about life being perfect if and when I become a published writer or an accomplished designer. Every job has its ups and downs. Every job is work. And it won't always be fun. That's why it's called work and not play. But when you're doing something you love, it is kind of like playing. Adult playing. 

I guess that I will have to continue to work at my writing. I will have to put more energy into growing my interior design business. I have to keep working and trying. I can't give up. Because I believe it's important to love what you do. Or at least to like it. I believe there is more to living than working and paying bills. I believe we should all have work/life balance. Maybe that makes me a daydreaming idealist and impractical. Maybe I need to wake up and smell the coffee and put my nose to the grindstone and quit bellyaching about my bohemian need for fulfillment. Maybe all I can and should do is just make the most of my situation. Because that's really what we are all doing in this world. Just trying to make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in.

What about you? Are you happy with your job? Do you find joy and fulfillment in your work? Is that important to you?

I just recently watched the movie Selma, and it got my brain on wheels rolling. In fact, it got my heart beating and my blood pumping and my tears falling. I know I've written about hate and racism before, and you're probably wondering when I'll get some new material. But it's just a subject that is always in front of me. And it seems more so lately.

The tragedy in Charleston happened just days before I watched the movie. A young white man walked into a church and shot and killed innocent people. It was reported he targeted the church because it was "a historic African-American church." Upon investigation, the police found website registered to the man which contained a racist manifesto and images of him with the Confederate flag.

I connected the events of the present to the events of the past and this intensified my feelings and focused my thinking. I wondered why we are still dealing with such violent racism. Why are people still being judged, shamed, abused, and killed because of the color of their skin? Why do people hate others they don't even know simply because they are different? 

There is a scene in the movie Selma where a group of black people are peacefully marching across a bridge in protest. They are met by troopers who hit them with tear gas and beat them with billy clubs. I felt so angry as I watched, knowing this happened in real life. People gave their lives to the Civil Rights Movement, and they shouldn't have had to. And it wasn't just black people. It shouldn't have been this way. It shouldn't have taken televised beatings. It shouldn't have taken deaths. It shouldn't have taken protest after protest and march after march. This all this took place in the 20th century, too. In the century of flight and automobiles and television. All the technological advancements and yet we were still cultural cavemen. 

The sad thing is we haven't come as far as we like to think. We haven't come as far as we should have. People of color are still dealing with racism and hate and violence. People of color are still dying at the hands of racists.

I also watched American Sniper. And I thought about the hate that some Middle Eastern countries have for America. And some Americans return that hate. The movie was full of violence. Of course, it's about war. I knew what I was getting into. Nonetheless, it saddened me to watch soldiers and civilians being killed. There were two scenes which especially got to me. One involves a women who gives a boy (her son, I presume) a weapon to use on American soldiers. The main character of the movie has to decide whether or not to shoot this boy. It must have been unimaginably difficult for him to make the decision, but he does shoot the boy in order to protect the troops in the line of fire. The woman then picks up the weapon and runs towards the troops. Again, the soldier has to shoot. It is obviously difficult for him. There is another scene in which a man watches his son tortured and killed and then he too is killed, simply because he cooperated with the American soldiers.

Why do they hate us? Because we are infidels? Because we don't believe in the same God? Because we don't live as they believe everyone should? Because we are different? Because we stepped foot on their land? Why does that make them hate us so much they are willing to kill and torture, even sacrifice themselves or their children or their fellow countrymen who interact with us?

Add all this to the news of countless acts of terrorism around the world, and it feels as though humanity is becoming consumed by hate. And it all stems from our differences. People hate based on race, color, nationality, creed,  or religion. And sometimes it seems people will find any reason to hate others.

We misunderstand each other. We misjudge. We mistrust. We dismiss each other's cultures and beliefs. We pronounce each other's faiths as misguided. And it causes pain and anger and resentment. And it leads to hate. And then to violence. Homes and places of worship are bombed or burned. People are kidnapped, tortured, and murdered. Wars are waged. Innocents die. And it escalates. All because of differences in who we are or what we believe. 

WHY?

Why is there so much hate in this world? Why can't we learn to embrace our differences? Why can't we accept fellow human beings for what they are? We are all human after all. We all think and feel and love and hurt and laugh and cry. Why can't we learn to understand each other? 

I can only guess that this comes from some ancient, primeval instinct to protect and propagate our own kind. Something inside us fears what we don't know or understand or can relate to. Something inside us warns us against who or what we perceive as outside our own personal realm. While I understand how this may have served us in our fight for survival, I would like to think that we could evolve beyond discrimination.

I know I must sound negative and pessimistic. But don't get me wrong. I have also seen the opposite of hate in recent days. I have seen love and hope. Some of the family members of the Charleston tragedy said they forgive the shooter. People all over the country came together to honor the memories of those victims. The Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage legal in all states. That was a landmark decision.

I see hope in my son, who is mixed race. When he plays with his friends, who are from different backgrounds, without thinking about the color of their skin or what church they attend. I see hope in a generation of children like him. 

I guess when it comes to the human race, it will always be two steps forward, one step back. We seem to be quick to judge and slow to open our hearts and minds. I hope it won't always be this way. I hope that one day we will live in peace together no matter the color of our skin, the God we worship, the nation we live in, the language we speak, or the people we love. I hope that those who have been beaten down will be picked up. And I hope we will all know the glory of love and acceptance and freedom.

The green-eyed monster

"The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you."

                 -Bette Midler

My son caught a cold last week and he was definitely not feeling well. Poor thing had a very stuffy nose and a burning sore throat. I felt so bad for him, especially since he probably caught it from me. I don't like to see him hurt, either physically or emotionally.

Thinking about him hurting reminded me of a conversation we had a week or two before. He told me that some kids at school were giving him a hard time on the basketball court. They were making snide comments and ganging up on him. Not to worry, it didn't cross any lines. It was just the usual juvenile banter. Based on what he told me and my own experience, I sensed that maybe these boys were jealous. See, my son is good at basketball. No, I mean really. I'm not just saying that as his mother. (Go ahead, roll your eyes, I can't see you.) But really, he's good. And he's very competitive. He always wants to win and he always gives 100% and I'm sure he's the same whether he's playing a league game or at just a quick game at recess.

I know how young ones can be. Immaturity and insecurity cause them to say and/or do things that hurt and they don't even realize the pain they cause nor do they always know how to deal with their own pain in a constructive way. I told my son not to let it get him down, and that as he gets older, he may have to deal with worse. As he once said, "puberty is when the aliens take over our bodies," and these aliens are all trying to find their way and figure out who they are, and this process can get them all riled up.

Now, to be fair, my son is very sarcastic and he can come across just a bit rude. So, maybe this exacerbated the situation. And yes, I talked to him about that. I also reminded him that he needs to remain humble, and that relationships of any kind require compromise and a lot of give-and-take.

My brain is on the move, come along.

Not long after this, my husband asked something along the lines of "why is it that when someone is really good at something and this talent is displayed, they are called a show-off?" Good question, right? Why is it that instead of congratulating someone on their talents, we immediately find a way to put them down? Why do we "hate" on people?

"Humans are suspicious and jealous creatures. When they see something perfect, they want to find a flaw."

                   -Gosho Aoyama

The worst part is that not only are people jealous, not only do they resent the talent and success of others, but they hope something bad happens to them or that they fall off their pedestal or fail in some big way. These jealous people can't be rich and famous and beautiful and adored and successful and talented, so they don't want other people to be. That's why tabloids and TMZ are raking it in. Because people want to see the dirty laundry of the "show-offs." They want proof that others are no better than them.

"I don't know whether you have noticed it, Sir, but there are some that take pleasure in the distress of a fellow-mortal, and most especially if they think that fellow-mortal has committed a sin, which adds an extra relish."

                                     -Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace

Now, I understand that some successful and talented people lack humility and that is what attracts hate. There is a difference between letting your talent and skill speak for themselves and constantly speaking of your talent and skill. I have known people who are always looking for the opportunity to tell stories of their greatness. I'm sure you all know some, too. The kind of people who constantly brag about their achievements. The kind of people who dominate conversations, talking about how they did this or accomplished that. Or who constantly belittle others. But you know what, we can't hate them either. Because deep down inside, they are just insecure and in need of love and acknowledgement and validation. They, too are experiencing jealousy. They, too are human. And like children and teenagers, they don't know how to deal with their feelings.

I wish I could say that I don't get jealous, but I do. And I wish that humans could always be genuinely happy for the success of others. But that's not the case. But hate and resentment don't do anything for us. Instead of focusing on others, we should put our energy into improving ourselves and our own lives. We should work hard not on wishing failure on others, but on achieving our own goals and dreams. That is the one good thing about envy, it can push us to improve, to become better.

I hope that my son learns how to deal with the green-eyed monster, the one attacking him from within and the one attacking him from without. I hope that we all can. I hope that we can learn to rise above the hate and resentment and pettiness. We would all be a lot happier for it.

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

                   -Carrie Fisher

Time and Time Again

I recently watched the latest X-Men movie, Days of Future Past. I know, I'm way behind the times. What can I say, I never go the theater as the prices are ridiculous! I'm sure most of you have seen the movie and/or know the plot. In summary, Wolverine is sent back in time to change the events that could lead to the demise of  the human and mutant races. Don't worry, I'm not giving anything away. And as usual, I'm not critiquing the film. I did enjoy it, but more than that, it got me thinking about time travel.

Now, it's hardly the first movie about time traveling that I have ever seen. The list is long. And it's hardly the first time that I have thought about time travel. For as long as I can remember, I imagined hopping into a machine that would whisk me away to the past. I loved studying history in school, and I wanted to experience all those exotic, ancient places I read about. I wanted to meet the people whose writings provided a glimpse into their times, the people of legends and folklore. I wanted to see fine lords and ladies dancing in a Medieval castle. I wanted to see just how the Egyptian pyramids were built. I wanted to look at the night sky with the Mayans. I wanted to talk to the ancient Greek philosophers. I wanted to sit around a fire with native American Indians. I wanted to know all the secrets of the past. 

I also thought about the endless possibilities time travel could present. We could go back in time and "fix" things. We could prevent tragedies, change disastrous outcomes. We could stop assassinations and wars. We could learn the truth about what we read in history books.

And then as I grew older, I began to think about things on a more personal scale. What if I could go back in time and fix things in my life? What if I could undo some of the mistakes I made? Hindsight is 20/20 they say. And like everyone else, I have many regrets. But what if I didn't have to live with regret? What if I could go back and make the right choices, do the right things, stay on the right path? What if I could erase my bad habits, my bad moments, my failures and shortcomings? 

Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day? Bill Murray's character keeps reliving the same day until he gets it right. I imagine continuing to go back to the past trying to change things until I get it perfect. But then I remember how many times he relived that day and how often he got it wrong. If I went back in time and changed things, would be I be satisfied with just a few changes? Or would I constantly be traveling back in time, continually changing things, trying to create a perfect life? Or what if I just changed my mind about things as humans are wont to do? Or what if I just wanted to try a million different things because I could? If that's the case, then I would never see the beauty of the present or the wonder of the future. Life would become a meaningless video game in which I could constantly press reset. 

I also think about the movie Butterfly Effect. Ashton Kutcher's character keeps going back in time, trying to make things right, but his efforts have unintended and sometimes tragic consequences. And his actions don't just affect his own life. What if I went back in time and stayed focused on school and attended that university and obtained that degree and got that job? Or what if I pursued my dream of being an actress? Would I still have met my husband and created the beautiful human being that is my son? I can't imagine not knowing the love of my husband. I can't imagine this world without my son. Sure the possibilities would be endless, but there would be a trade-off. I would lose people, things, and experiences to gain others. And we all play a role in each other's lives, whether it is small or large, whether we realize it or not. What if you make a change and think things are fixed, but then someone else goes back and makes a different change which then changes your changes? Confusing? Just imagine the consequences of everyone simultaneously traveling back in time to change events? 

Think about all the drama and hilarity that ensued when Marty McFly time traveled in the Back to the Future movies. He almost kept his parents from getting together. And in Part II, Future Biff gives Past Biff a sports almanac which he uses to get rich. Suffice to say this works out for his present and future, but not for anyone else's. Knowing humans and their capacity for greed and corruption, I could see a lot of people using time travel as a way to profit unfairly, or to cause trouble, or to hurt others. Instead of preventing wars, people may start wars. 


Switch gears for a second...
In the X-Men movie, Hank McCoy, aka Beast, states the following:

"There's a theory in Quantum Physics that time is immutable. It's like a river, you can throw a pebble into it, create a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do, the river just keeps flowing in the same direction."

What if that is truly the case? That even if we could travel back in time and change things, the universe would ultimately "correct" itself and the final results would always be the same . Or what if we travelled back in time but no matter what we did, we could not change events? What if everything happens for a reason and our lives are completely in the hands of God or Fate? I guess in some ways this is true. We can't go back in time and change things. 

But we can learn from the past and change our present and future. 

Our past shapes us, is part of who we are and who we will become. And just because it wasn't always good, just because we made mistakes, it doesn't mean we are doomed or that we failed somehow. We always have the power to change things in the present. And we can plan for the future.  

Knowing that we only get one chance forces us to do everything we can to get it right. Knowing that we only get this one life makes it more precious, more meaningful. We can't press reset whenever we want to. 

And I guess that's probably best. What do you think?

Flaws

As you may have discovered by now, my writing is often inspired by music. Though I can't sing, or play an instrument, or dance to save my life, I do appreciate music and the power it holds.

For the past month, I've had a certain song stuck in my head. Really, I shouldn't say "stuck", because that implies the song is annoying. So, I guess I should say this certain song has made a home in my brain.  For a while now, I've heard this song on the radio. And you know how radio stations work. They play the same popular songs over and over until everyone is practically begging them to play anything else. Well, this particular song has become popular. And it's by a band that is on the rise.  So, yes, I've heard it more times than I can count. But I am not irritated by it. In fact, every time I hear it, I focus on it, and analyze it, and appreciate it a little more.

The song is "Flaws" by Bastille. Let me share the lyrics with you:

·                  When all of your flaws and all of my flaws

Are laid out one by one

The wonderful part of the mess that we made

We pick ourselves undone

 

·                  All of your flaws and all of my flaws

They lie there hand in hand

Ones we've inherited, ones that we learned

They pass from man to man

·                  There's a hole in my soul

I can't fill it, I can't fill it

There's a hole in my soul

Can you fill it? Can you fill it?

·                  You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve

And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground

Dig them up; let's finish what we've started

Dig them up, so nothing's left untouched

 

·                  All of your flaws and all of my flaws,

When they have been exhumed

We'll see that we need them to be who we are

Without them we'd be doomed

·                  There's a hole in my soul

I can't fill it, I can't fill it

There's a hole in my soul

Can you fill it? Can you fill it?

 

·                  You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve

And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground

Dig them up; let's finish what we've started

Dig them up, so nothing's left untouched

·                                   

·                  When all of your flaws

And all of my flaws are counted

When all of your flaws

And all of my flaws are counted

 

(I left out the last part since it repeated earlier lyrics)

 

Now, I wouldn't dare try to interpret what the writer thought or felt. No, I can only tell you what the song makes me think and feel.

This relates to a subjects I've touched on before: humanity, judgment, love, and acceptance.

We are all flawed. Very, very, very flawed. Some of us accept it. Some of us deny it. Some of us wallow in it. And some of us refuse to let it get us down. Some of us "wear our flaws upon our sleeves," while some of us "bury them deep beneath the ground."

As I told you before, when I was younger, I wanted to rebel against society, and what I felt were stifling, unfair rules. I didn't want to conform. And so I wore my flaws proudly upon my sleeve. As I got older, I wanted to bury those flaws. I wanted to escape judgment and scorn. It wanted love and acceptance. I think that we all go through periods of flaunting and burying. Or we constantly strive for balance between the two. We want to be better, but we don't want to be fake or forced to conform. We want to be ourselves, but we want to part of the brotherhood of man.

We are human. And part of what makes us human is our flawed nature. Our imperfections shape us, differentiate us, make us individuals. They also make us part of this large family known as humankind. When you think about it, all of us have similar flaws. Maybe to varying degrees, but still very similar. We are all selfish, self-centered, pleasure-seeking creatures. We are driven by a handful of instincts. We desire, we hunger. We use, we abuse, we take. And whether by nature or nurture, we can't escape the grasp of many of these flaws. We inherit them. We learn them. We pass them on. Generation after generation, we strive to fight against our darker selves, to "fill the holes in our souls."

Perhaps, we are all crying out to each other, to our loved ones, to our friends, to "fill those holes in our souls" because we can't. I look at people in everyday life, and I see how we criticize each other, put each other down, point out each other's flaws. I watch TV. and read the news and see how everyone criticizes everyone else. We criticize people we don't know. We criticize celebrities whose flaws are showcased to sell magazines and air time. We point and laugh and look down our noses and spit and turn away. We judge and judge and judge again. We blame and shame. And maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe that's opposite of what we need to do. Maybe what we should do is help to fill the holes in those souls. Maybe we should teach and guide and lift each other up. Maybe we need to love and accept and forgive. Maybe we need to face the holes in our own souls and ask for the help we need to fill them. Maybe helping others fill their holes allows us to fill our own. And maybe love is the only thing that can fill them.

And maybe our flaws help create this "wonderful mess" that is humanity. Maybe our flaws help us connect with others. Maybe our flaws force us to learn, to improve, to change, and to create. Maybe without them we would be doomed. Doomed to a life without color, without adventure, without discovery.

So, let's dig them up. Let's face them, face ourselves, and face each other.

 

 

Hope for Humankind

Well, I caught the cold making its way around. I am completely congested and entirely annoyed. So, I've spent the better part of today in bed, just resting my weary body and throbbing head. While I slipped in and out of consciousness, I listened to bits and pieces of the news on the television. As you are aware, the focus is on the terrible tragedy which occurred in Paris earlier this week. Masked men went into the office of a satirical magazine and gunned down several people. It is believed the murders were an act of revenge for the disrespectful cartoon depictions of the Islamic prophet Mohammed.

We could discuss the issues involved here for days (i.e. freedom of religion, freedom of speech, tolerance, respect, compassion, understanding, etc.), that is not entirely what I'm focusing on in this blog. I know, how can it not be? But, as you know, my brain often gets rolling and makes connections between things, and before you know it, it's gone down a different road.

See, because I'm basically housebound and mostly bedbound, I watched a lot of news. I also read a lot of news (admittedly whilst I was perusing Facebook). And as you know, the news is generally depressing. Besides the story in France, I heard about a small bomb being set off outside an NAACCP office. I read about a man who threw his five year old daughter off a bridge. I read about Boko Haram going on a killing spree and burning down houses.

Sadly, I read about tragedies every day.  Yesterday I read about two sisters who were involved in the shooting death of their older brother. The parents left all the children at home alone, including a three year old. The eldest sister claims her brother was abusive. She pulled the trigger.

On the local news, I heard about a man who left his place of work, went to a nearby shop, and beat and sexually assaulted the female clerk.

In the past few days, I have also heard about the body of an infant found in a dumpster.

All this breaks my heart. I can't understand why this world is so full of hate and anger and violence. I can't understand the evil that lurks inside people. And I find myself questioning my long held belief that beneath it all, in spite of everything, people are inherently good. I find myself losing faith in humanity. And that breaks my heart even more.

Follow me here......

I recently watched the movie, "The Giver".  I did not read the book beforehand, but some of my book club mates had, and it sounded interesting. If you are not familiar with the story, it is set in a dystopian future (popular choice these days). In this far off time and place, there is no color, no emotion, no choice, no passion, no religion. There are no difference, no 'cultures' or 'races'. Everyone is essentially the same. Though it seems perfect (no war, no pain, no suffering), it has come at a great cost. Everyone has had their memories erased and no one truly feels.

In this movie, one of the leaders says that when people are given a choice, they choose wrong. I can't help but think of this now. Do we always make the wrong choice? Are we ourselves to blame for all the pain and suffering in this world? Is it our freedom to choose- to be, to think, to feel, to act-that ultimately dooms us? Would this world be better if we were all less human, and more robot? If we had our humanity, our differences, our hearts and minds stripped, then would this world know peace? Would I stop reading and hearing about all these tragic stories? And if so, would that perfect world be the place I want to live in?

I'm sure some would be willing to pay that price. I have to admit that it sounds good. I would love to never again hear about an innocent child being murdered or a woman being beaten and raped or a man subjected to violence because of the color of his skin or the religion he practices.

But without feelings, we wouldn't know love and compassion. And they exist in this world, thought it often seems otherwise. Without differences, the world would be cold and colorless. Even in this world, which often seems full of hate, people celebrate, embrace, and admire those differences. Without our memories, without our experiences, we couldn't be the individuals that we are. Without deep thoughts and questioning, there would be no exploring, no discovering, no art or music or dancing or poetry.

Sometimes it seems that this world and its people are without hope. But, in spite of the pain and suffering, in spite of the tragedy, we must continue to look for, and to believe in that light of hope that shines through in our humanity, and can ultimately guide us to a better place and time.

 

I pray we all see that light through all this darkness. And I pray that hope for humankind does not lie in erasing all that makes us human.