A House Divided

I last wrote about not taking things personal. Today, I write about not making things personal.

Election day is just around the corner. And I am glad of it, because I can't take much more of this contentious presidential race. I am completely irritated with all the mud-slinging, name calling, and finger pointing. And the bad behavior isn't confined to the candidates alone.

This has to be one of the most divisive elections in history. It has torn this nation apart. Many protests have been staged. But people aren't just protesting. Instead of being satisfied with hurling insults at each other, supporters of both candidates have taken to hurling rocks and throwing punches. A GOP office in North Carolina was firebombed. Then a letter with a suspicious white substance was sent to the Democratic campaign headquarters. It's ugly out there.

Unfortunately, this election is not only dividing the nation, it is dividing couples, and families, and friends. 

Cosmopolitan.com conducted a survey in which 42% of respondents said the campaign "has negatively affected their relationships with someone close to them." In a poll by Monmouth University, 7% of participants said they had lost friends because of the election. I read articles in varying publications with anecdotes of people fighting with friends and loved ones because of their decision to support one candidate or another. In extreme cases, even family members have stopped talking to each other.

And in this age of social media, people are debating their beliefs in very public forums. I've seen countless examples on Facebook of people exclaiming their support or hate, and threatening to unfriend anyone who disagrees with their choice. I've seen the arguments which have ensued. And they aren't always polite.

It doesn't seem to be enough to argue about the candidate's platform. No, people are attacking and insulting the candidates, and then attacking and insulting each other. In short, people have made this election very, very personal. Instead of accepting our differences and agreeing to disagree, we are waging war against the opposition.

Now, I admit I have questioned why people support a certain candidate. I see him as a bully, a racist, a misogynist, and fear monger. But my main complaint is that he has yet to provide real, honest solutions to the problems we all face. I will not vote for him. Yet, I am still undecided, because I am not sure if the other candidates can provide real solutions either. But people make the assumption that if you don't support one candidate, then you support the other which makes you an enemy (technically, there are more than two candidates, but then people get into that whole "a vote for so-and-so is a vote for the opposition," and that's another story in itself).

While I may not agree with some of you, I would never call you stupid. Nor would I refer to you in derogatory terms or attack who you are as a person. I would hope that you could return that favor.

See, this isn't personal.

Well, it is personal in that each one of us has a say in who takes office. And we all want to select the person who is best suited for the job. The person who will make a positive difference. The person who will help us all live better lives. The person who will make sweeping changes. The people of this country have been dealing with a lot of adversity. And they are tired and angry. This vote will make a difference in so many individual lives. So, yes, it is personal in that way.

But we shouldn't make it a personal battle with everyone who we disagree with.

This country has been a bastion of political freedom and civil liberty. We have also been called "the melting pot of the world." People of all walks of life, of all different races and cultures and religions, call America home. We are different. This is a beautiful thing. A thing to be celebrated.

So yes, we will have different beliefs and ideas. We will have different political leanings. We will have different opinions of who should take office and what that person should do once they take office. And debate is healthy. Debate forces everyone to think, and consider, and evaluate. Debate forces us to see all sides of an issue in order to come to a logical solution to real problems.

But we have to actually behave like reasonable adults. We have to cast aside our pigheaded pettiness and stop the name calling and violence. Because all this ugliness is not what America is about.

We should learn to have honest, straightforward conversations about the issues. We should also realize that we can't always change people's minds, even with logical arguments. We should accept that we won't agree with everyone, including our friends and family. And we should love them all nonetheless. We should always keep an open mind and an open heart.

Don't hate someone just because you disagree. Don't make it personal.